BIG BOX DO IT YOURSELF STORES-WELCOME TO HELL
By Joyce Nanette Johnson
The “Do it Yourself” big box stores are marketed as your first easy stop in doing any easy upgrades to your house. On the commercials, you see the associates dancing down the aisles, all grins and happiness or you see another one in a deeply engrossed conversation with a customer discussing in detail how to fix a specific issue, and then there’s always the camera shot of you easily finding the product on the shelf. What a bunch of crock that daydream delusion is!!
First, let’s start with that happy sales associates grinning down the aisle. You can never find an associate grinning or otherwise. When you do finally run across a lone associate they are quick to tell you that this is not their department and they are just passing through. I have a question for them if this is not your department why are you just passing through and not stationed in your own department? Is that the game they’re playing just keep moving from department to department and the consumer will never be able to tag anyone down?
Then let’s have a quick chat about the helpful tips you get on the products and how to use them. Yes, sometimes there is a some associate giving expert advice in the middle of the aisle. But you can forget asking them anything because a person that has been looking for help for over an hour has them corned and they’re not giving them up. They have a list of questions with subheadings. They’re in a “Screw you, I had to wait and now it’s my turn” mentality.
Now another thing I hate about the big box of help stores is the non-ease of finding the product that you’re looking for. Just because you might be looking for a handle for a door does not mean that it is where the doors are. It might be hiding out in the lock aisle just to keep it exciting for you as you go through aisle after aisle. It’s kind of like a scavenger hunt. Then once you find the correct aisle the hunt begins for you to chose the specifc product that you’re looking for and you start looking at all of the samples displayed. Finally, you are satisfied with the sample after your neck has been stretched toward the upper shelves for over an hour and now resembles a giraffe . It doesn’t matter that you will endure severe muscle spasms when you get home, you have now made your decision. Time to pick that puppy off up from the shelf up and march to the cash register all happy. And there lies another dilemma. For the next 10-20 minutes you scour to find the correct sku#, color, or code. Then for the final insult, the right model number is on the top shelf and you guessed it…you got to go find someone to get it down for you. Or worse, you have to go and get one of those bulk flat carts that you can’t steer and run over some old person’s foot that is already suffering with plantar fasciitis.
You are now in Big Box “Do It Yourself” Hell. Welcome to the Dark Side.